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Dog Jokes
The best bone is the funny bone

“Why do dogs run in circles? Because it’s hard to run in squares!” I overheard a child at the park tell this joke and I laughed out loud. I shared it with several other people over the next few days and a clear pattern emerged. Dog lovers found it at least a little amusing, but other people offered a courtesy laugh at best and an eye roll at worst. It seems dog humor is another bond that those of us who love dogs can share. Dog jokes typically strike me as funny even if they are just silly little plays on words.

Here are a few of my favorites:

“What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodledoo!”

“Why are dogs like phones? They both have collar IDs.”

“Why did the dog chase the red cape? Because he was a bull dog.”

“Why are there Dalmatians on fire engines? To help the firefighters find the nearest fire hydrant.”

What dog jokes make you laugh?

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Karen B. London, PhD, is a Bark columnist and a Certified Applied Animal Behaviorist specializing in the evaluation and treatment of serious behavior problems in the domestic dog.

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Submitted by Bob | October 18 2011 |

Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic agnostic? He lay awake all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

Submitted by Carolyn | October 19 2011 |

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me!

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chichuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Translation: "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Cattle Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Submitted by Anonymous | October 21 2011 |

Did you hear about the pit bull poodle mix? Not a very good watch dog but a vicious gossip!

Submitted by Ann Mason | October 22 2011 |

An I LOVE LUCY episode had a hilarious dog joke. I'll try to recall it accurately:

A man was sitting with his dog in a movie theater. The dog was cheering on the hero, laughing hysterically and in general having a great time, when an usher approached.

"That's strange. Your dog is really enjoying the movie," the usher said.

"I know," the man replied. "I can't figure it out either. He hated the book."

Submitted by Lucy | October 24 2011 |

Wisdom from Groucho Marx: "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

Submitted by Corgi | November 2 2011 |

"How does a dog make friends?
He wags his tail instead of his tongue." So true, right? :)

www.corgidogs.org

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