Smoothing Out the Bumps

• Hire a dog walker to orchestrate the go-betweens.

• Schedule longer periods between swaps to keep transition-related stress to a minimum.

• If you also share custody of your child, consider putting your dog on the same schedule.

Pluses & Minuses

Like most things in life, pet sharing can have its ups and downs.

On the up side:

• When you leave town you know your dog is being taken care of by someone who genuinely loves them (and it’s free!).

• You can share expenses. (In my case, The Doone is due for her second knee surgery and, at $2,500 a pop, it’s nice to know I can split that with my ex.)

• Especially if you are single, it’s great to have backup you can trust when you need a break.

On the down side:

• You may have to interact with your ex more than you might like (and know details about his life you’d rather not).

• The coordination can be tricky, especially if the schedule is either too loose or too rigid.

• No matter how much you want to share, it might not be the best choice for your pet.

Planning Your Pets’ Future When Your Relationship Is in the Past

• Don’t let your pets become pawns in an emotional tug of war. Vow to do what is best for them.

• Avoid using email to resolve “hot button” issues. Emails generally escalate conflict.

• Choose a time and place to talk that is mutually convenient.

• Brainstorm instead of debate.

• Listen. Have a dialogue instead of two monologues.

• Stay focused on your pets’ wellbeing.

• Write down any agreements you reach, and make sure they are clear, specific and realistic.

• If communicating with each other is too difficult, consider hiring a skilled mediator.