Make Us Laugh!

Keep it short and make it funny

Contest Ends: 7/1/2013

Bark announces its first humor-writing contest, looking for short, funny essays that will tickle our readers’ funny bones. Entries will be judged by Bark editors based on their “wit” meter—we realize that humor is pretty subjective, but we have wide-ranging tastes when it comes to funny.

  • The contest is open to everyone, and you need not be a subscriber to win.
  • The entry must be canine-centric, cannot contain any instances of cruelty or abuse, and the dog must be an integral part of the story. “Voice of the dog” writing is strongly discouraged.
  • Entries may not exceed 750 words; those over this word count will be disqualified.
  • Entries must be uploaded and be created in Microsoft Word or another widely distributed word processing program; your name, mailing address, telephone number and email address must be included in the document.
  • Entries will not be acknowledged, and those sent as hard copies will not be considered or returned.
  • Entries are limited to one (1) per person and per person.

The contest ends at midnight, July 1, 2013. Entries received after this date will be disqualified.


Grand Prize Winner will receive $400, and the essay will be published in a future issue of Bark (timing of publication to be determined by Bark).

Second-Place Winner will receive $200, and the essay will appear online.
Third-Place Winner will receive $100, and the essay will appear online.

(Honorable Mentions: A few notable ones might be considered. Compensation will be in the form of Bark subscriptions.)


Winners will be announced on or about August 31, 2013.

Show us what you have—we’re looking forward to reading your witty gems!


The fine print: Proof of submission does not constitute proof of receipt. Bark is not responsible for lost, late, misdirected, incomplete or inaccurate entries.


Open to legal residents of the 50 United States and the District of Columbia who are age 18 and older at time of entry. Contest is also open to adults age 18 and older from Canada and elsewhere outside the U.S. Void where prohibited by law.
Entrants must have a valid email address. It is the entrant’s responsibility to notify Bark of any change in email address.


By participating in the contest, the entrant certifies that the entry is original; has not been previously published; and does not contain any material that would violate or infringe upon the rights of any third party, including copyrights, trademarks or rights of privacy or publicity.

Bark reserves the right in its sole and unfettered discretion to disqualify any entry that it believes contains obscene, offensive or inappropriate content; does not comply with these official rules; or is not consistent with the spirit or theme of the contest. The decision of
Bark and the judges is final and binding on all matters relating to the contest.


Acceptance of the prize constitutes permission for Bark and its agencies to use winner’s name and/or likeness, biographical material and/or entry (including an edited form of the entry) for advertising and promotional purposes without additional compensation, unless prohibited by law.

The sponsor of this contest is The Bark, Inc., 2810 8th Street, Berkeley, CA 94710.