Break-Ups and Good-Byes

Sometimes people miss the dog the most
By Karen B. London PhD, July 2016

I remember a college friend commenting that he considered himself lucky to have gotten out of a bad relationship but also mentioning how much he missed his ex’s dog. He probably would have been completely happy about the break-up if it hadn’t been for Peaches. Most people discuss the person that they have broken up with, but in this case, our entire social circle heard about the dog, not the ex-girlfriend.

It’s common for people to ache from the pain of missing the children of their ex, so it’s no surprise that there is great sadness when people no longer get to live with or even see the dog they’ve come to love. When members of a couple adopt a dog together, there are sometimes visitation rights discussed during a break-up or written into a divorce agreement. If, however, you were with someone who had a dog before you were in the picture, you are unlikely to have any legal recourse. You will be allowed to see the dog if your ex lets you, but otherwise you are simply out of luck.

Sometimes people take the high road and allow their former partner to see the dog either because they recognize that it is good for the dog, or out of a loving kindness to the person with whom they just split. Sadly, denying access to a dog after a break-up is often done as retaliation, just to be mean and spiteful. (The same thing happens with children, which is extremely troubling.)

Were you allowed visits or some time with your ex’s dog after a break-up or a divorce?

 

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photo by Linh Nguyen/Flickr

Karen B. London, PhD, is a Certified Applied Animal Behaviorist and Certified Professional Dog Trainer who specializes in working with dogs with serious behavioral problems, including aggression. She has authored five books on canine training and behavior.