When Tricia and Mike Smith put their dog Molly to sleep earlier this year it left a big hole in their lives. They missed their Boston Terrier’s zest for life but weren’t ready to adopt a new pup. So they decided to pay tribute to Molly’s love for parties and socializing by entertaining—with a twist.
Tricia, a 35-year-old deputy in the office of the Platte County Recorder of Deeds, and Mike, a 40-year-old business analyst for a local telecommunications company, created Thursday Night Suppers, which is essentially an invitation to bon vivants in the Kansas City area to dine chez Smith. There is no fee.
Of course, a Thursday Night Suppers website (with a blog) outlines the details and how to make reservations, but the Smiths’ ambitions are not about building virtual connections. They’d like to be hosting sit-down suppers for six once a week.
Tricia Smith talked to The Bark about opening her heart and her house--and the dog who inspired it all.
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How did Molly come into your life?
Molly started her life as a pet store puppy. When the pet store let all the animals get ill a rescue group from Conway, Mo., stepped in and rescued them. The people at the rescue group affectionately named her Phat Girl. From there, a couple adopted her and renamed her Molly. Later, they wanted to get rid of her because they were moving. From my point view, they obviously never understood what a wonderful creature they were living with because if they did, they never would have let her go. I found a posting for Molly on my company’s intranet site and we bought her for $90—the best money we ever spent!
Why did you have to put her to sleep?
Molly was diagnosed with Glomerular Kidney Disease. It hit her really fast. One week she was fine, the next week she started throwing up. It took about a week to determine her immune system was mistakenly attacking her kidneys. We tried a couple of medicines to slow down and halt her immune system, hoping it would give her kidneys a chance to recover enough to function, but the medicine failed. Our veterinarian then had to tell us there was no cure and Molly would only get worse. By the time we decided to put her to sleep she had stopped eating and we were carrying her outside to go to potty. From the time she got sick to the time we put her to sleep, it was only about a five-week period. We knew the kindest thing to do, no matter how difficult, was to put Molly to sleep before she suffered. I’m positive that we made the right decision, but not a day goes by that I don’t wish we could have had more time with her.
Why host dinners in Molly’s honor?
Before our veterinarian came into the room to put Molly to sleep, Mike and I promised her that we would live a life that would make her proud. I believe that the most important thing a person can do in life is make a difference in another person’s life so if through Molly’s death and because of our tribute to her—the website, the blog, the dinners—two people become friends or if one person is comforted then Mike and I will have accomplished everything we hoped.
If you hope for a little grief-relief from your guests, what do you hope they will get out of the experience?
It’s funny you asked this question. My next blog entry is going to describe what my dream is for Thursday Night Suppers. I’m hoping that through the Thursday Night Suppers people will connect with one another and friendships will develop, maybe someone who’s lonely will take a chance and come to a dinner and find a friend.
How many dinners have you hosted?
So far we’ve hosted two dinners. For the first dinner it was just Mike and I, but somehow we found it fitting that it was just us. Our second dinner attendance increased by 200 percent. A couple that we had met at the park came to dinner and they brought their Pug, Stanley. Molly had loved playing with Stanley at the park. After I told my mother about the second dinner, she said Molly would have had a wonderful time. I think the nicest thing about our second dinner was that we got to spend more than 10 or 15 minutes together with these people. We had the opportunity to sit down and have real conversations about our dogs, our families, our experiences. We were able to connect not just as dog owners, but as friends.
Are you ever worried about inviting strangers into your home?
When I told my dad what we were doing he said, “You’re crazy. You’ll have every nut at your house. You’re going to get knocked over the head and robbed.” Seriously though, yes, we do worry about inviting strangers into our house, but we don’t want to live our life afraid of doing something good because something bad might happen.
What has been the biggest challenge?
So far the biggest challenge has been getting people to come to dinner. We’ve gotten quite a few e-mails telling us what a great idea this is, but not many reservations to dinner. I understand how scary it would be to go to a total stranger’s house for dinner, but I tell people to put themselves in our shoes, we’re inviting six strangers into our home—we’re outnumbered six to two. We are starting to get a few reservations for the fall dinners. Hopefully, Thursday Night Suppers will continue to grow.
What has been the biggest gift?
It has been a great way for us to work through our grief.
Is there another dog in your future?
We’ve talked about it and we’ve come close a couple of times, but we’re just not ready. I don’t think we can put a timeframe on when we’ll be ready for another dog, but I know someday we will.
Who’s the cook?
That would be me. I love to cook, but I can’t bake to save my soul. I make a great roasted chicken, a pork lion with plum sauce and a baked salmon topped with macadamia nuts and fresh herbs.
We’ll be right over.